“What a day!” Beth said, dramatically throwing themself onto a couch. “I thought we were never going to get done with that intern. He went on for aaaaaages. He was pretty cute though, don’t you think?”
They looked first at Sophie, who shrugged, and then at Mickey, who thought for a moment and nodded as he joined them on the couch.
“His skin had a nice glow to it.” He admitted. “And he was pretty muscly.”
“Right??” Beth exclaimed. “You get it Mick. It looked natural too; I feel like nobody works out anymore, it’s always those augment patches. Sophie, did you notice his eye? It was so dreamy it almost made me swoon.”
“Oh, uh. I didn’t notice.” Sophie responded awkwardly. Over the month Beth had been on their team, she had noticed that Beth had a preoccupation with how people looked, an interest that Sophie did not share. She never noticed people’s appearances all that much, so when these conversations happened every now and then she never knew what to say.
“That’s a shame. It was nice.” Beth looked thoughtful for a moment. “I haven’t dated anyone in a while, you know. I need to get back out there. Do you reckon Peg would date me? I like her hair. I think we’d be a good match.”
“Peg’s in a long distance relationship with someone from Earth right now.” Mickey supplied.
“Oh, darn. Well, there’s always that chick from that cafe the other day. Xe seemed to be into me. I’m sure I have xer profile somewhere.” They flicked through their comms for a minute before showing them the image of a Thrandulin.
Mickey nodded appreciatively. “I like xer makeup.”
“Mm, it’s pretty hot.”
“Hmm.” Sophie said, and Beth glanced up to see her slightly bemused expression.
“You okay Soph?” Beth asked their friend. “What’s up?”
“Uhhh….” Sophie scratched the back of her neck. “Honestly, Beth, I don’t understand why you always talk about this.”
Beth looked confused. “What do you mean? I just like to gossip about people I find attractive. That’s normal.”
“Yeah but… what makes them attractive? Like, I don’t know, I don’t get the interest.”
“Don’t you have eyes?” Beth asked incredulously. “Hmm, maybe we just have different types.”
Sophie was silent for a moment, tapping her fingers absently against her face, before saying slowly, “I don’t think I have a type.”
Beth and Mickey both looked at each other with surprise and then at each other.
“Sophie, are you asexual?” Mickey asked gently.
Her eyebrows shot up. “What’s that mean?”
“Well, it means that you don’t experience sexual attraction.” he said.
“Okay.” she said.
“Do you know what I’m talking about?” he asked.
“Nope.” she replied.
“Sophie didn’t you do sex ed in high school?” Beth asked, shocked.
“I dropped out of high school when I was thirteen.”
“Oh.” They said. “That explains a bit. Okay so, because most beings have like, an innate drive to reproduce, they experience feelings that make them want to have sex with other people, based on like the way those people look, that’s sexual attraction.”
“Yeah, okay, I know that much.” Sophie rolled her eyes.
“Okay, okay, just covering the basics.” Beth spun their hands in exasperation. “So like, I’m pansexual. That means that I can be attracted to anyone, regardless of gender. That’s why I talk about people the way I do. I like the look of a lot of folks. I’m very into dating. But being asexual means that you’re not really interested in people that way, so that’s why Mickey asked if that’s what you are.”
“Uh huh.” Sophie processed this new information slowly. “But what if I’m not really interested in looks or, um, sex, but I do want to date people, maybe?”
“That could still mean you’re asexual. There’s different layers of attraction. So some people are asexual and aromantic, which means they don’t like people sexually and also don’t want to date them. But you can have romantic attraction without sexual attraction. For a lot of people if you’re romantically attracted to someone you’ll be sexually attracted to them, but that’s not necessarily true for everyone.They’re separate things.”
“There’s aesthetic attraction too.” Mickey added. “I’m asexual Sophie, but I can look at people and think they look nice without wanting to act on that at all. So Beth and I have different sexualities but we do have things in common. I’m also biromantic, so I have dated people but I am attracted to different genders in different ways.”
“This is very confusing.” Sophie said and Mickey put a grasper on her shoulder comfortingly.
“It can be. I don’t understand exactly how it works, but you don’t need to worry about fitting exactly into labels. They’re just there to help people figure themselves out if they want to do that. You don’t need to worry about it if it just makes you feel more confused.”
Sophie frowned. “I’m cool to figure myself out. This is interesting. I guess I just need to learn a bit more about it.”
“I’ll send you some links my dude.” Beth said, already searching furiously on their comms.
Robyn walked through, on her way to her own room to retire for the day, but stopped when she saw most of her team slumped on the couch. “Don’t stay up too late everybody. We have a lot of work to get through tomorrow and I expect you all to be punctual.”
Sophie observed Robyn with a puzzled expression. “What’s your sexuality Robyn?”
Robyn’s sensors blinked slowly, and then she sighed. She found Sophie quite tiresome at times. “Not that it’s relevant, but I am aromantic, thankfully. I am beyond such frivolous preoccupations.”
“Cool. I think I might be asexual.”
Robyn looked at her for a second. “Good to hear. I am departing to my bedroom now. I’ll see you all when I awaken for our next day of work.” She disappeared in the direction of her room.
“I think I’ll go to bed too.” Sophie said, standing and stretching, then looked back at her friends. “Thank you for explaining things to me guys. It was really helpful.”
“You’re welcome Sophie.” Mickey said with a smile. “I love you, you know.”
“Love you too.” she gave both him and Beth a goodnight hug and departed.
She spent the next hour sifting through articles and social media posts and videos about sexuality and the LGBT community and common traits and anything she could find really.
Her head was reeling with everything she’d learnt. Because she’d had such abnormal teenage years, which was apparently when people learnt about sexuality, she’d never really had much experience with dating or with what was considered normal to be feeling. What she had witnessed of the world’s obsession with sex and dating had always made her uncomfortable. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have experience with feeling an outcast, but she had to admit that when it had come to Beth and Mickey and Steve and the comments they made sometimes, it had made her feel a little broken, like there was some expected life experience that she just did not have. It was nice, unbelievably so, to know that there was a word to describe somebody like her, that she wasn’t alone in the universe, and also to know that sexuality was a spectrum and she didn’t have to fit into any boxes other people had made.
She felt like she understood herself a bit better, like the universe had opened up before her. She wanted to talk to Mickey more about asexuality, and ask Abi what she thought her sexuality was, and Steve, and Xeq. She smiled at the colourful symbols and flags that one of the sites Beth had sent her showed for each sexuality. With a bit of fiddling she projected rainbow colours onto her ceiling, and then, exhausted, she fell asleep.
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